Glossophobia by Sam Bollinger

“Glossophobia” was an honourable mention for the 2023 Priscila Uppal Memorial Award for Poetry.

My heart meets my throat             at the tender place where              vocal cords

oscillate       the sound        strangled           as tongue trips           trips over itself    

hands shake             dilated pupils              betray the optics of             confidence  

body     shaking             like I am dying                amygdala                doesn’t listen

to reason          this  reaction of          body           competing with        rationality

my speech therapist said to          dissect         the words           until each letter is

phoneme        sinew            oxygen unbonding hydrogen         until muscles twist

past memory           it took me seven years               to pronounce my own name    

I hate all three syllables             gut it into          one                  it’s still too much      

I don’t feel like a            person            I            nervous system of           misfiring

synapses            flicking switches            on autonomic       functions             until

each one blinks         blinks      out of existence          like a collapsing             star

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Sam Bollinger is a poet, editor, and reviewer. Her work has appeared in The Malahat Review, Canthius, Arc Poetry Magazine, and elsewhere. She is the co-Managing Editor of Portal Magazine and studies creative writing and English at Vancouver Island University.