Expecting by Isabella Wang

I arrive as a frisson of vomit rising
to rust her throat. Pith growing
in the marshy confines of her belly,
tethered to her navel
and our game of tin can telephone.
I kick, she rubs,
Baba lays his head
over her and hears me tremor,
plays Beethoven from the other end.  

Her blood tests anemic.
She is fed racks of Szechuan lamb,
fish stew, wonton soup,
uncooked oysters,
chamomile tea by Laolao,
hears they’ll be good for my skin,
gags back six hard-boiled eggs
and a whole watermelon each day. 

The midwives judge her size,
joke to the obstetrician
that four of us will transpire
in the delivery room when time calls.
Yeye demands for a grandson
bearing his own name.

She gains 60 pounds, I come out
little over five and hairless—
shrivelling prune, flesh red
as a blood orange’s,
vaselined and feckless
in the plastic tub, thread to an IV
for refusing water and infant formula,
dying chick ringed
by a swarm of watchful vultures. 

They are generous with their gifts
and pleasantries, donates old comforters
for diapers. I wear Laolao’s
hand-stitched socks and sweater.
Our family will finally have a doctor!
Here’s money for a piano!
All little girls should take ballet class!
I love her hair!
Yeye leaves.

Face puffy and porous
like a pomelo with dewy eyes,
Mama trains my body,
furls me in a blanket
rolled so tight
there will be no room
for mistakes.

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Isabella Wang is the author of On Forgetting a Language (Baseline Press 2019). At 19, she has been shortlisted twice for The New Quarterly’s Edna Staebler Essay Contest, and she holds a Pushcart Prize nomination for poetry. Her poetry and prose have appeared in over twenty literary journals, including The /tEmz/ Review, CV2, and carte blanche. Her work is also forthcoming in three anthologies, including the What You Need to Know Anthology (The Hawkins Project, co-founded by Dave Eggers), and the They Rise Like A Wave: An Anthology of Asian American Women Poets (Blue Oak Press 2020, co-edited by Christine Kitano and Alycia Pirmohamed). She is working as an assistant editor at Room magazine, a Research Assistant for SpokenWeb, and pursuing a double major in English and World Literature at SFU.