How We May Change for the Better: Review of Vivek Shraya's People Change
Vivek Shraya. People Change.
Penguin Random House Canada, 2022. $17.95.
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Content Warning: This review mentions homophobia and suicide.
Vivek Shraya’s work of nonfiction, People Change, focuses on themes of reinvention, transformation, and the myriad of ways in which a person may be driven to and experience change. Shraya does not leave a single stone unturned. She draws attention to the many moments of change that one may encounter in their lifetime and analyzes the value of this process for our self-betterment and fulfillment.
People Change begins with an epigraph: a quote by Madonna from 1991. It reads, “I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.” To ground this piece of writing with a quote by Madonna—an individual Shraya often refers to in her work, as well as in wider conversations regarding change—is a poignant and informed choice. The quote sets the tone for the reasoning through which Shraya defends the usage of “change” in one’s self: as a radical and artistic choice.
Shraya makes it a point to navigate the narrative of change through an intersectional lens, referring to how change is not always autonomous and can be a defense mechanism in the face of oppression. Shraya says, “This is one story I can tell myself: That I was forced to change. That I reinvented myself to please or subdue or even mimic my oppressor. I was the proverbial phoenix whose glorified ascension required incineration. But maybe this story gives fire too much credit” (6). The latter part of this quote hints at the fact that change does have value, but the way we change does not always come from our own desires. Shraya says, “‘Seizing the moment’ has been less about embracing the present and more about understanding that I am not entitled to a future” (9). Though ultimately arriving at the same conclusion, the path towards embracing change is more solemn. This realization, that none of us, as Shraya says, are entitled to a future, provides a sobering shift in how we may perceive our capacity for change. Shraya was convinced that she would likely die young as a queer and trans person. When reflecting on her upbringing in Hinduism and the notion of multiple lives, she writes, “Since I wasn’t going to live long, I would live as many lives as I could in the time I had. Reinvention was my way around reincarnation” (9). Though saddening, this nihilist reasoning provides a well-needed reminder that nothing is truly stopping us from having as many lives as we may choose to have.
Shraya puts forward a novel idea regarding change: how it is seen as an action indicating an ambiguous or otherwise wavering nature. That to change is to be fleeting in one’s feelings, or never truly have roots settled enough to deepen. To this point, Shraya makes a poignant observation: that “we’re indoctrinated at a young age into a belief that ‘true’ feelings are eternal and unchanging” (37). Shraya speaks about how long relationships, whether relating to one’s marriage, career, friendships, or passions, are valued higher than those that are more short-lived: regardless of the passion, excitement, or desire to remain within them. Shraya offers a shift in mindset: that we may analyze why it is we see the length or duration of a commitment as the most important element of it. What if instead, we focused on how happy someone was within a relationship, or how much light a new work endeavour brought to a person’s eyes? Alternatively, Shraya poses, “Why is it that exploring is so often synonymous with frivolity, dabbling, indecisiveness, being noncommittal or unstable, or having a midlife crisis, and endurance isn’t synonymous with complacency or stagnation? Time and rigour are luxuries” (74). We often see the supposed merit of “sticking it out,” but what does that really provide for any party outside of the fact that one can flaunt their stamina? Moving beyond endurance as the only measurement of success in any activity or relationship is worthwhile. The valuing of one’s ability to change should be seen as a feat of versatility and flexibility to endeavour towards.
Shraya also speaks about the various ways change may be accessible within fixed situations, such as relationships, without ending them. Sometimes, major leaps of change are a privilege, as it often means that little is holding us back. However, there are times in which we may shift our perceptions of how change may be accessed. When speaking about ‘ending’ a relationship with a previous partner of Shraya’s, she said, “I remember telling Shemeena then, I want to grow. It was a bizarre, even cruel statement to make when it insinuated the possibility of a breakup. Why would anyone walk away from joy, from the most reciprocal love they had known, for the sake of growth?” (40). In this example, of course, one can see how Shraya felt that to access tangible change, the relationship as it existed previously, as partners, required a change. However, Shraya notably speaks about her relationship with her current partner, and how she posits a few key rhetorical questions regarding accessing change within that relationship: “Is it time for me to blow us up? In the name of growth? Is the only way to grow by continually creating new relationships? How do we find ways to grow inside of existing relationships and older friendships?” (43). Despite the fact that we may not relate to these exact situations, it is a universal experience that there are those relationships that we must change some part of to remain authentic to ourselves. Ultimately, there are some relationships we must end to access a change within ourselves.
Shraya makes it a point to ensure that we do not conceptualize change as reaching one “true” or “ideal” self. Shraya warns the reader that “The problem with understanding the self as singular is that the only way a new self can be legitimized is by disavowing one’s past self” (83). She believes one should honour their past selves, and the ways in which each self was as honest and genuine as the environment allowed them to be. It is not disingenuous, but braver, to embrace a changed self. People Change is full of incredibly rich knowledge regarding the many facets of change and reinvention, and making space for the nuanced and different ways this may show up as an opportunity for self-betterment or enlightenment along our paths of life. The words of Vivek Shraya coax and support the ways in which many of us are likely shying away from embracing a new change, or fearing what we may leave if we take such a leap. This compact book is more of a guide: on how we may ‘change’ for the better.
Namitha Rathinappillai (she/her) is a Tamil-Canadian spoken word poet, artist, and writer who has entered the poetry community in 2017. She has been involved with Urban Legends Poetry Collective (ULPC) ever since her engagement with the Ottawa arts community, and made ULPC history as the first female and youngest director. She is a two-time Canadian Festival of Spoken Word (CFSW) team member with Urban Legends Poetry Collective, and she published her first chapbook, Dirty Laundry with battleaxe press in November 2018. She has been involved as a performer and a workshop facilitator within the Ottawa community at spaces such as Tell em Girl, Youth Ottawa, the Artistic Mentorship Program, Carleton Art Collective, The Fembassy, Youth Services Bureau, and more.