Review of Small, Broke, and Kind of Dirty by Hana Shafi
Hana Shafi, Small, Broke, and Kind of Dirty: Affirmations for the Real World
Book*hug Press, 2020. $25.00 CAD.
Order a copy from Book*hug
Small, Broke, and Kind of Dirty: Affirmations for the Real World by Hana Shafi is a collection of essays that provide a face to the online affirmation art series that Shafi posts on her Instagram, @frizzkidart.
Though this book can be seen as a self-help book of sorts, Shafi does not claim to be a professional. She says, “What I am is a storyteller. I tell stories – in words and in art – that make people feel less alone, that affirm people as they are, and that maybe get them a little riled up about the big-picture stuff that really matters in the world.” The value of storytelling as healing is often overlooked, but Shafi’s book reminds us of the importance that art brings to our sense of self, purpose, and belonging. Through her own compilation of personal narratives paired with beautiful illustrations, Shafi declares that we too are valid, flaws and all – and “to not let the bastards grind us down.”
Shafi eloquently shares anecdotes about her own life experiences and those close to her. She explores a number of topics such as fatphobia and body positivity, homophobia experienced by QTBIPOC, the importance of vulnerability, and the camaraderie between those with chronic pain – and gives them all their due time in her book. Her contribution to the canon of literature, especially in writing about these less-explored topics, is crucial, as it actively subverts the notion that we should not talk about these things that as a society are not already readily accepted. Rather, Small, Broke, and Kind of Dirty challenges the reader to unlearn many of the concepts that have been ingrained in us since childhood.
Through her essays, Shafi makes incredibly timely discussions accessible by weaving in her own experiences. To be able to see and relate to many of the experiences Shafi interrogates first-hand feels important – that maybe, like Shafi says, I am valid too. She tackles many cognitive discrepancies with a therapeutic voice that makes space for softness. Shafi, when discussing negative body talk, says, “The problem wasn’t me; the problem was the stores that thought size twelve was so big that they didn’t carry any sizes above it. The problem wasn’t me; it was that nobody tells you that as you get older your body changes and this isn’t a negative thing.” Shafi reads like the older sister that many of us did not have, but are now blessed with the opportunity to read over and over again when we need a reminder that we are worth loving.
Shafi often writes with such assertion about concepts that we may know of but not yet have the words for. When Shafi discusses the experience of coming out for QTBIPOC, she says, “In families where LGBTQness isn’t a thing that is discussed, coming out is sometimes seen as an act of violence – an attempt by a rebellious child to deliberately hurt or divide the family.” Many of us deeply know this experience, but through the fog of our own decoding of our trauma, have not found the explanation that Shafi so eloquently provides for us.
The surety of many of these lines hold the reader in a way that feels deeply affirming. She writes with no designation of blame, but instead provides an explanation for different perspectives, no matter how dissonant they may seem. We begin to peel back the understanding from a masked perspective that many of us do not have the energy to try to understand. However, Shafi has so generously done the heart work for us to find healing in these experiences of hers.
Shafi speaks highly about the importance of community, including the importance of finding solidarity from within. Through her discussion regarding self-love that is independent from relationships with others, Shafi says, “I refuse to believe that another person can complete me, because I refuse to believe that I have emptiness within me or, for that matter, missing parts.” This does not negate or discount our deeply held and intimate relationships we may carry with us. However, Shafi encourages us to understand and hold that as an individual, we are complete and whole, and no person should or can change this fact.
Shafi’s beautiful affirmation art is woven throughout the collection, wonderfully framing the many essays. The succinct captions and lovely illustrations catch the reader just as they are finishing each essay, reminding them of the beautiful life lesson that Shafi has decided for each essay. Seeing the art that Shafi posts on her Instagram is easily one of my favourite moments of the time I spend scrolling on the social media app. Like the artwork in Shafi’s collection, it forces me to pause and reflect.
Small, Broke, and Kind of Dirty is paramount in value. Narratives like Shafi’s are ones I wished I had at a younger age, but am ever grateful for now. I am thankful that young women of colour have resources like her collection to seek solace in when it feels as though comfort is nowhere on the horizon. Even as an adult, Shafi’s work brings clarity to many struggles that I have never seen spoken about with such precision in any other medium or space. This is why the stories of marginalized voices hold the utmost importance. Not only does the author deserve to take up space but also the impact it has on other marginalized people reading these narratives is monumental. Thank you, Hana Shafi, for being our Dolly Parton -- in the way you know in your heart that she will accept you wholeheartedly, thank you for the belief that you will accept us as we are, too.
Namitha Rathinappillai (she/her) is a Tamil-Canadian spoken word poet, artist, and writer who has entered the poetry community in 2017. She has been involved with Urban Legends Poetry Collective (ULPC) ever since her engagement with the Ottawa arts community, and made ULPC history as the first female and youngest director. She is a two-time Canadian Festival of Spoken Word (CFSW) team member with Urban Legends Poetry Collective, and she published her first chapbook, Dirty Laundry with battleaxe press in November 2018. She has been involved as a performer and a workshop facilitator within the Ottawa community at spaces such as Tell em Girl, Youth Ottawa, the Artistic Mentorship Program, Carleton Art Collective, The Fembassy, Youth Services Bureau, and more.